The New City..

So here I am from being left alone to.. a new city….
And every1 keeps asking me how am adapting to the changes… Was quite apprehensive when I decided to give it a try… Why ?? Maybe because of the negative comments …

I decided to move on..to shift.. dropped the bomb to my manager..frens and it sure was a bomb…
They had it embedded within them that am a person who wud never prefer to move out… that am too comfortable in there… and that was true.. Was real comfortable there.. The frens I had there were awesome and it was one of the best phases … Money..freedom…. good frens.. good or bad ..they shared my wavelength… frequency as some may call it…

I am somebody who has not yet mastered the art of saying NO… And quite contradictory to it… I fiercely guard my independence…. There is this category of people with whom I cannot get along with… The Nosey Parkers….

In most of the mallu blogs/communities/forums I see one common allegation… Mallus are nosey parkers.. Yeah yes do agree to a certain extend.. But I had a completely different experience there… In college it was a different scene… days scholar gals whom I d term as gfn’s….and boys who were the databases…. Trying to be the best nosey parkers… However after college things did change…

At the work place had a gala time… Had frens who didn’t expect anything out of u… Frens who didn’t wanna know anything abt u unless u wanted to tell them.. That’s a real great environment….

Now am into this great metro…. Where, as far as I ve heard … nobody bothers another person’s business.. But got a completely different treatment here… A main topic of discussion is age .., A guy who s nearing 30 is always reminded of the fact that he is nearing 30.. not in a lighter note… on a serious tone… Back home in kerala.. we were a group which consisted of people from 22 years to 40, married unmarried etc… We never felt the difference though… I always took it on a positive note… The people nearing 40 enjoyed it , they (I guess) felt younger…free from the responsibilities … and etc etc..
Here its sort of a taboo if some1 who s 5 years senior joins the group for lunch…

Well it depends on the group you are with… but I had never felt the young-old distinction there…

My first two days here were hell… Am a proud mallu … and am still the same.. My hair screams out the fact that am a mallu … and believe me am a proud mallu  … but unlike Blore… mallus are a minority here.. and I know as much hindi as mayb a northie wud know Malayalam…. And this made me an outcaste initially… Well two days down I made ‘em grasp the fact that though hindi is the national language its not spoken in all parts of India… And there was one person who got really pissed of by that fact… Now am ok though… no no.. I didn’t learn hindi… they are now speaking to me in English  am trying to master our national language.. but I don’t have the flair to learn any language for that matter…
I remember the language exams at school… was a nightmare … Learned French for some time … All others had a jolly good time on the eve of French exams. Coz the syllabus was mild  and I had the worst of all times…. Think the language part of my brain is not developed… So those people who master languages easily and know a handful of languages are people I look up to with awe… I wish I wish…. I ve asked my Gujju frens to teach me Gujarati… maharastrians to teach me marathi… wanna learn Tamil… ooh… Dreams… But then reality is that I cant even learn Bombaiyya….

Now the nosey parkers here… Am surrounded by them… And that’s wat I Least expected… Well well… not much of a problem .. except that I get totally pissed off at times… We mallus ,… when out of the mallu land tend to have this strong mallu mallu brotherhood..
So there are these frens who works in this same city and they found a small mallu restaurant near my office… They have Kerala Parottas…. The prohibited meat… kappa and a good naadan oonu…. If I go out for lunch with them twice a month I get questions fro the gals seated next to me… so whom are u seeing now… mallu boy fren ?? and stuff..
Back home I would take these as jokes… but then there nobody would really bother much.. I can have lunch with u one day with her the next day wth a third person the following day….
Here they consider it a sin bcoz I go out from the lunch group to have a good mallu lunch that I am yearning for… and wants to know if he is my boy friend… Cmon Guys.. Gimme some space…
Well I still think that’s it’s the problem with the group….

But then I am used to it by now… Not Cribbing… well I was ust writing about it… no am not cribbing  
And another one of my concepts proved wrong…. Many of the guys here don’t drink.. I used to enjoi watching the guys drink at trips and parties.. That’s if u know the people welll…. They are real fun after that…. No not indecent… just fun…. But here a whole lot of them brag that they don’t drink… Why should they brag…. Aaavo… I dunno….They brag abt Gujarat being a dry state too… What the heck….

But then I am loving it here…. Living alone … trying my cooking skils…reading …sleeping…. Or going out with frens….

Back home amma wouldn’t give me the control to her kitchen… She wanted things done her way… The sugar had to be kept there and the salt here…. This spoon here and that plate there.. And I definitely cant do that…. I never tried either.. So it was cooking starting from scratch here..and none of my frens here are ready to be my guinea pig…But then I made a good chicken curry yesday and some veggies which tasted good too.. Had an utmost flop once when I added a lot of ginger to one dish..and had to throw the whole pot out….But am enjoying it…Amma is real surprised at my progress… And all my dishes are my own…I read a lot of cooking blogs and wanna try them out.. but no…I go by instincts and add my own ingredients… So it tastes new… but then almost good 
When I came here I had this utmost urge to start cooking and become an expert… But it sooon waned off… But a couple of weeks ago I was invited by some mallu guys to their house… and they had a feast ready for me.. They really took me off my feet…impressed me… tonnes… There were a few veggie items and Chicken ..fish ..prawns and the best sambar I have ever had…. Reached home late that day after a mallu movie.. Next day I started on the cooking spree….still going on…


The gals here want me to cook authentic Kerala dishes… But they are all veggies.. and I cant think of any authentic Kerala veggie dish .yes I can think of … but I dunno to make them… they cant digest the idea that I dunno cooking on a full swing yet…
They ask me What wil happen when I get married… Hey that’s another thing..most of my frens are married now.. if they are married and still working (most are) the husband and wife cook and they tell me that its wonderful… But to most of the guys here that’s just impossible..A guy who cooks is alien to them.. The gals liked the concept though..And these guys want a working lady as their wife too…Wouldn’t it be fun if you shared the responsibilities instead of handing all the chores to the poor gal…

On the whole, am liking it out here… So far so good… Hope am moving in the right direction….

The last to leave :(

We joined as a batch of fresh recruits from Campus… From different colleges… different streams …technologies.. but with similar fears… Will I clear the cut off at the end of the training period..Am I fit for the software industry??? Can I code?? Design ?? hmmmph….

Three years have gone by and I cant bring myself to believe that .. Today is important… no I don’t wanna describe it as special… From today I will be left alone in the 3 BHK that was once home to a whole bunch of us… For quite some time it was just the 2 of us and she is gonna leave today..

A lot of issues cloud my mind… Where should I shift to? Will I be able to find roomies sharing my lambda?? Lambda… vibes… that’s what am gonna miss the most… We rarely found other gals sharing the same sense of humor … the same cheekiness J maybe there was something wrong with us or the crowd around us,…. They found us odd.. They could not understand how we could frequent the shack like tea shop round the corner… or how we jumped like crazy during the beach trips.. or how we d spent the whole day loafing around and stay late to finish our work..

Independence .. space… that’s something I savor the most… But today am getting affected at being left alone … it will pass…we can replace the void .. replace people…felt so always…but today am doubtful… it takes ages for me to develop the bonding… but then its my decision to stay on… to steer my career on the right track…the personal life has to wait.. Have made a couple of wrong decisions in life… fingers crossed.. …..

But why??

I didn’t know her personally. She is my maidservants(chechi) neighbor. Her name is Anju… 19 years old. Her folks were financially hmm…not well off… but just so –so..
Her father had a govt. job and had saved enough for his daughter’s future .and they lived an ordinary peaceful life like a proper lower middle class family..
But their lifestyle changed soon… her father had some health problems…they spend all their savings on his sickness but it did not help…
After her father’s death life was quite different.. I dunno why fate was cruel towards them..many of her father colleagues had spent their money gambling and the like …but he had saved for his family…but in the end they were left with nothing at all…

In order to support her family her mom started to work. She got a job in a temple… doing odd jobs there…
Soon after Anju turned 18 they became worried about her marriage… ‘they’ implies even the neighbors including my servant…

She was good at studies but that was not of importance to them…
I remember my servant chechi telling my mom about a very good proposal for Anju..My mom asked her abt the groom’s job…Servant chichi didn’t know..her reply was that his family has their own house and several cents of land..Another point was that the groom’s sister was married to a well off family.
Mom tried to convince her that these are not the required criteria…but to them it was all that what mattered…
The wedding took place soon…that was more than an year ago…
We do not know that family well other than them being our servant chechs neighbours… But Anjus mom comes home at times.. when she is desperately in need of money.. And my mom helps her..

Some time ago she came..she needed money for Anju’s delivery…

That was when we came to know about the rest of the story… Anjus husband had no job… He and his mom lived by selling her gold…and parts of the land they owned.. He abused her.. and said he was doing that out of love…he had no income…but had money …and hence frens who were good-for nothing’s like him… at times he goes to work as a cleaner in a private bus… other days he d spent time with frens in some bar or the womens college junctions …

Now Anju is at her house ..after the delivery..he wants her back to his place…
Few days ago when my servant chechi went to Anjus house …she saw him strangling her…She is woman of guts and strength …she kind of wrestled with him and saved the poor gal…
In the evenings this guy orders classic food from a restaurant nearby and eats it in front of Anju and her mom…not sharing a morsel of it.. He doesn’t take care of the baby ..nor help them in any way…

But ..
Yesday my servant chechi came to speak to my mom abt her daughter and how she shud get her married..this gal is just 20… She had an odd job at the place where my mom works…And is studying a part time course coz we insisted.. We tried to convince our servant to wait for some more time…. But no she was not convinced..

I cant understand why this is happening,,…. Didn’t they just watch a gal in a helpless situation…. Wudnt it make a difference if Anju was educated…. When will the system change???

Dreams...is it too late?

I do not understand why gals in India have to get married at the so called right marriag'able age.. Am 25 ...whoa.. most of my frens fro school and cllege are now happily married..so does that mean that have to be married too..??
Not that every1 I know keep pestering me with this question.. Maybe coz I jump around bubbly and happy all the time....
There was this colleague to whom I remarked that his sister and moi studied together... and he said ..oh u are 25?? then why arent u married yet...his sister s not married too...so not much of a hassle there :)
Marriage is not the issue bothering me though.. My dreams... and marriage stands in the way...
glaring at me...
Its partly my fault... I shud ve run behind my dreams earlier..but i did not...
This month is speacial...its been 3 years since I stepped into software...but thats troubling me now...Looking back at what I ve gained ...where I ve reached... I cant give a solid answer...
There was a time when I had my dreams... and they believed that I d make it big..
No.u got it wrong if u think am one of those students who always scored above 80 p.c for the exams.... No..I barely got 70.. coz 70 was the cut off for the campus placements...and thats me... :( I needed only 70...
But I was the first from college to get placed... :) To me it was a shock...
Those were the times when the industry was starting to recover from recession... and getting a job was good enough...
And then I stoped dreaming... Does it make any sense ? It doesnt .. but I went where the tide took me.. When others fought with their manager for better projects ..I didnt... When they left in search of better pastures I didnt...Family was important to me...My mom was important ... I stayed here..
Now..is it too late to aim high... Is it too late to dream??
Is my career on the right track.. ???

So..finally..Am gonna blog too...

I ve this desire within me ..for long..
To start blogging.. but ... maybe its the terribly pessimistic part of me in action... or its my honest understanding of the fact that I wont be good at writing..
Nevertheless am gonna try... to write..to flush out my mind... and I need to do that...